DARTZ - The Hardest Working Band In New Zealand
You may have heard of DARTZ, the band from Wellington, New Zealand from one of their many elaborate schemes. Whether it be doing a 24 hour telethon to sell 420 copies of their albums, writing songs about the importance of getting your drugs tested and ‘one outsing’ Captain Cook, or even playing fourteen house parties in one day, it’s safe to assume that the DARTZ boys always have a trick up their sleeve. Their commitment to the bit has paid off tremendously; they were crowned Favourite Group at the inaugural SRN awards, released their debut album The Band From Wellington, New Zealand on Flying Nun earlier this year, and even headlined their first Australian tour.
Beneath the surface of these elaborate hijinks are Danz, Clark, Crispy and Rollyz; a group of mates looking to entertain themselves, building a solid fan base who encourage their outlandish antics in the process. “We've learned that you've gotta just put yourself out there to get in front of those people because people aren't going out looking for you” says DARTZ guitar player Crispy, as frontman Danz chimes in, “we usually just riff”. One of the most infamous schemes in the DARTZverse was Crate Day party 2019, where the boys played 14 Crate Day parties in one day, just to say they did.
For those outside of New Zealand’s cultural zeitgeist; Crate Day is an unofficial holiday on the first Saturday of December in New Zealand, where you drink a crate of beer (twelve 745ml bottles) between 12pm and 12am. It was founded by The Rock radio station, and has evolved to what most consider a regular weekend. While many believe Crate Day exemplifies New Zealand’s rampant binge drinking culture, DARTZ want to refocus the narrative away from the act of actually drinking a full crate. “We celebrate it as the first Saturday of summer and say that you should share a crate with your mates” Danz says as Crispy adds, “you learn pretty quick that [drinking a crate] isn’t the fun part of it and actually just having a fucking fun party with your mates on a Saturday is pretty a billion times better”.
Which brings us to the 3rd of December 2022, where Clark pitches an elaborate scheme to play four different Crate Day parties in four different cities: Christchurch, Wellington, Auckland, and Hamilton. The pitch was initially met with hesitation from the other band members, but a bit of peer pressure from fans set this plan into action.
Then it was time to figure out the logistics. DARTZ conveniently played their album release show in Christchurch the night before Crate Day, which only meant it was an hour flight to Wellington, followed by an hour flight to Auckland, and then a final hour and a half drive to Hamilton. It was foolproof. The next challenge was finding flats hosting Crate Day parties that would want to host a show, but also have their own equipment. “The most crucial thing was that we needed the people hosting the parties to provide 90% of the stuff” Danz says as transporting amps, a drum kit, and more would turn into a logistical nightmare. However after putting out some feelers on Instagram, the plan was put into motion.
Christchurch: 12:00pm
The boys first show for their grandiose Crate Day was in Christchurch at none other than the Newzician flat. The first show kicked off at 12pm, and the anxieties about the day ahead grew. What if a flight gets delayed? Who would be at the gig? Do they even like DARTZ? Was all of this going to pay off? They headed towards their destination on an unassuming street in the heart of suburbia, nervously anticipating what laid ahead. Their anxieties were put to rest as they arrived at the flat. “When we walked down the side of the house, it was just beautiful,” Crispy says, “everyone was sprayed out on bean bags and had the crates everywhere”.
It was jarring for the boys to play at midday in front of a small crowd all chillaxing on bean bags, and the stress of the day ahead weighed heavy on their minds. As Danz recounts, “I think I was a bit shy at the start because I didn’t know if these guys are gonna like DARTZ, and maybe they don't. But they liked the idea of what we were doing and the fact that we were doing it”. As the set went on the boys got into their element, the crowd relaxed, and everyone was enthralled in the concept, culminating with a smokin’ rendition of Dominion Road. Both Crispy and Danz agreed that this was the party that they both would’ve liked to stay at, but they had to book it to the airport to catch the 2:05pm flight to Wellington.
Wellington: 4PM
The second gig on the cards was in Wellington hosted by the Frank on Tap flat. To Danz, this was the gig that best encapsulated the spirit of Crate Day with a group of 30 or so punters drinking for a few hours, eager to hear what DARTZ had to say. They boys felt more comfortable playing in their home base, but it was still difficult to match the crowd's inebriated energy. “It didn't feel all that different from playing three hours prior to people that had just woken up” Crispy remarks, and they played their tight thirty minute set alongside a great Daft Punk Is Playing At My House by LCD Soundsystem. It wasn’t before long until they were greeted by the illustrious Air NZ safety video again as they headed to Auckland.
Auckland: 8pm
It was at this point that morale started to fade. The rush from playing in Wellington was met with a hard crash on their flight to Auckland, but they were nevertheless determined to put on a show. The third set was at Theo from Daffodilsflat where they had other acts as Tom Verberne and F.A.I.R.Y. play before. The party appeared to be winding down, as thick grey clouds loomed and the weight of the day was starting to take its toll. Danz recalls feeling completely exhausted and losing his voice while the other members of the band felt lethargic from all the travelling, raising tensions about their upcoming Hamilton show. Nonetheless they still describe it as a great time full of great people, and embarked on their final leg to Hamilton.
Hamilton: 11pm
For a brief moment, State Highway One was briefly renamed as “the road to victory”, as the boys set off to Hamilton in the Toyota Corolla. Danz describes the drive as his favourite part of the whole day, saying “it was night-time, the little Corolla was pumping tunes as we were all smushed in the back seats, and I was just so happy with my three boys”. They caught their second wind, eager to play at Last Place. “We rolled outside Last Place and the bouncers are like ‘DARTZ boys, you gotta get in there!’” Danz recounts, “John’s behind the counter, Connors behind the grill, and all the staff are like, ‘you did it’”. There was a scorcho themed cocktail in their honour, a decent sized crowd who knew all the words, and even an impromptu standup set from Danz halfway through. It was a victorious end to an exhausting day, followed by some debaucherous kickons before a 10 hour drive back to Wellington.
Upon reflection Crispy notes that he didn’t really learn much from this Crate Day experience, only that it was possible reality. “I think with the whole Crate Day thing it’s cool that just people were on the same energy as us”, he notes, “cause it's not like everyone there would even choose to go to a DARTZ gig. It's just that we’re putting ourselves out there to do something in this way”. What they may have lost in petrol, flight costs, and energy was all worth it for this triumphant tale. When asked if they would attempt something like this again, there wasn’t a resounding yes, but also not a definite no either. Regardless, we can assume that more intricate and elaborate schemes are on the horizon for the hardest working band in New Zealand, no matter whatz.